"Twilit," Stella and a flame thrower

Freddie Fame is looking at me from across the porch, the hookah smoke clouding his face momentarily. People are milling around the parking lot but I don't know them and they don't know me. This might be best for all parties involved. The Red Queen chokes on the awesomeness. Freddie Fame wants two different colored eyes- blue and green. We were discussing who would play us in a movie about our lives (Johnny Depp for Freddie Fame, Janeane Garofalo for The Dormouse and Sacha Baron Cohen's baby mama for the Red Queen) but now the topic has somehow gotten to lighting cigarettes with flame throwers. Beer is really nothing but preference. The Red Queen is getting into Stella lately, since the Brits came and went. Freddie Fame has a mystery text message, and, being the sleuth that he is, he's determined to figure out who is cussing him out anonymously (like a coward, according to the Red Queen). We're reading way too much into Lady Gaga and "Twilight."

The three of us are rewriting "Twilight" into "Twilit," and yes, it will be the ghetto version. We need an ebonics dictionary but haven't taken the time to Google it yet. All we know is the line "Say it, out loud, say it" will remain intact (because sometimes things are so bad they're genius). The two opposing forces will battle for Bella's affection through slam poetry. But enough about that. Giving too much away will make seeing the movie pointless (or someone will steal our ideas).